


O'Hare's Air

by Graped_Soda



Category: The Lorax (2012), The Odyssey - Homer
Genre: Continuation, Crossover, F/M, Fighting, Gen, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 03:43:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13538985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graped_Soda/pseuds/Graped_Soda
Summary: O'Hare is stealing the air and eating trees and Odysseus is going to stop him





	O'Hare's Air

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Odyssey](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/354678) by Homer. 



> I'm not sorry

After his return to home to Penelope, something began to plague the land. People would drop unconscious after simple tasks, such as running or long walks. Trees began to disappear one by one. Large footprints were left in the ground around the place where the trees disappeared. Doctors and experts only wrote this off as weak people and bad diets, but they could not explain the footprints. Odysseus felt this was no ordinary happening, so he set out on an adventure to find the cause.

“Penelope, I believe something is happening and I think I’m the only one who knows,” Odysseus stated.

“Odysseus, don’t leave me once more!” Penelope wailed. “I can not bear another moment without you by my side!”

He went on, “I must. This is my solemn duty to myself.”

Penelope cried into his arms. As he was about to leave, Penelope handed a stone to him.

“Keep this on you; it’s a gift from Athena said to give you divine protection. Please, be careful,” She whispered to him as she pulled away.

He nodded and left as he took the stone and packed it away. He began to walk along the trail where the trees disappeared and followed the debris. He began his next adventure.

Odysseus had been walking on the trail for a while and it became increasingly harder to keep his pace up. His breathing became ragged and uneven and it felt as though his lungs were on fire, but he kept on going. He eventually came to a clearing among the debris and a hill of discarded wood. Atop the pile laid a small man dressed in a toga. Odysseus trekked up the mound of wood, slipping every once in a while. As he neared the top, he didn’t notice the air become thicker and it becoming easier to breathe. The man on top of the pile heard him grunting and got up into a defensive position. His bad haircut swaying as he stood. He bore his sharp teeth and narrowed his eyes like a wild animal ready to pounce. When Odysseus reached the top, he stood much taller than the man and puffed out his chest in pride, practically bellowing his stature and dwarfing the man.

“I presume you are the one responsible for the disappearance of trees and thin air?” Odysseus questioned.

The man only growled at him and began to grow. He became 10 times Odysseus’s size and roared into his face when he grew full size.

“I am O’Hare!” The now monstrous man yelled. “And this here is all MY air!” His breath smelt of fresh laundry and lavender.

Suddenly, Odysseus felt heavy like lead and dropped to the ground. He couldn’t breathe or move. O’Hare swung his hand and Odysseus went flying off the mound of discarded wood and onto the ground, his sword flying out of its sheath. O’Hare quickly followed him and ran down the mound. Odysseus struggled as he attempted to get up. Suddenly, the rock Penelope gave to him began to glow and float from his pocket. It circled him a few times before producing a rope and settling around his neck. He could breathe again. He took in deep gulps of air before O’Hare had time to strike again. O’Hare raised his foot to bring down on Odysseus, but he was too quick. He darted out from underneath the foot and sprinted for his weapon laying on the ground. He swiped it up just as O’Hare brought his foot down and noticed him dart out. He went to crush him again, but Odysseus blocked his attack with his sword. He slashed at the bottom of his foot and again made his way out from underneath him.

O’Hare stumbled back in pain and cried out, "How DARE you! Come back here!" He lunged at Odysseus.

Odysseus jumped out of the way to dodge but his leg was caught before fully getting out of the way. O’Hare picked him up by his foot and brought him up to his face. “You’ll never get out of here now, puny human!” O’Hare spoke before opening his mouth to a gaping hole of sharp, yellowed teeth.

Suddenly, a gust of wind knocked O’Hare over and causing Odysseus to be dropped to the ground. He looked up to see what had knocked over the monster but nothing was there. He felt a breeze pass by his arm. As he looked down, he felt quick and a blade of air had formed, making his arm into a weapon. O’Hare grumbled as he got up, not knowing what knocked him down. He became furious when he remembered Odysseus. He attempted to clasp him between his hands, but in a blink of an eye, he no longer felt them. He fell, crying out in pain in the realization his hands were gone. Odysseus stepped out from underneath the shadows of his arms, quickly climbing up O’Hare to reach his face. O’Hare, tried to shake him off but to no avail. Odysseus was much too quick and agile now. Nothing was going to stop him.

O’Hare screeched as he clawed and pounded on himself in order to squash Odysseus, but he kept climbing. He finally reached the top, almost too tired to do the last deed, but by Athena’s luck, he managed to pull off. He took a leap into the sky and aimed his arm down to the skull of O’Hare and dived. His arm drove through the skull of the massive man and out the other side. He collapsed with a thud and lay dead for the crows. Odysseus stood and brushed himself off.

“Sorry I had to do this, but you were putting my home in danger.” Odysseus spoke, “Hope you can be better in the next life.”


End file.
